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roboboners:

jayda95:

all-because-we-fell-in-love:

floozys:

vagina’s are able to stretch wide enough to give birth to a fucking baby and then return to it’s original size but of course being penetrated by that grass blade you call a penis is what’s going to make it “loose”

Uhh. The baby doesnt come out of where the penis goes in…

stay in school y’all

i hate to be the bearer of bad news but the vagina and the vagina are, in fact, the same thing

Anonymous

Anonymous asked:

Lolz Now after that last a ask I kind of want Keith to walk in on Gold and Belle and see how "frigid" she is.

woodelf68:

thatravenclawbitch:

A/N: Keith is a total creep in this. You’ve been warned.

Takes place in my Toxic Event series found here.

He couldn’t believe Belle was back with that fucking miser. Gold might be the richest man in town, but he was a miserable old bastard with a limp. Belle was bloody gorgeous and completely wasted on him.

He assumed Belle was in it for the money. What else could keep a woman that beautiful on the arm of a man old enough to be her father? Of course, Belle was a waste anyway. Fucking perfect body and she never used it for a goddamn thing. The most he’d gotten out of her was a couple of kisses, despite his best push for more.

Well the frigid bitch and the icy pawnbroker could freeze together for all he cared. It wasn’t like there weren’t other pretty girls in this shit hole town. Mary-Margaret, the school teacher, was pretty enough. But she seemed like an even bigger prude than Belle French. Then there was the sheriff, Emma Swan. He wouldn’t mind letting her handcuff him. Too bad she looked at him like he was something stuck to the bottom of her shoe. Ruby Lucas was a hot piece of ass, but she seemed to have a thing going with Doctor Whale at the moment. Ashley Boyd had gone and got herself knocked up.

Goddammit. He was seriously running out of options. 

Keith scrubbed a hand over his face. He wished he could get Belle Fucking French out of his head, but the image of her, all petite, with her big blue eyes and long chestnut hair, seemed branded to the inside of his eyelids. He had to have her or he’d go mad.

With that in mind he stormed over to the library. It was slightly after closing time, but the lights were still on so he assumed she was there. Maybe if she just heard him out she’d realize what a wanker Gold was and what a stand up guy he was. Maybe she’d invite him up to her apartment and he’d get a chance to see what exactly was underneath those flirty little skirts that drove him mad.

He pushed his way into the library, dead set on talking some sense into Belle, but stopped at the circulation desk. The front room of the library looked empty, but perhaps Belle was still working somewhere in the stacks.

He strode over to the labyrinth of book shelves when he heard a soft whimpering, almost like someone was in pain. If Belle had been hurt, this might be his perfect chance to be her knight in shining armor. If he helped her while she was injured, she might feel like she owed him something.

"Oh God," he heard Belle soft whimper. "Right there!"

That was odd. Perhaps Belle had taken a fall off one of the ladders and banged her head. It was entirely possible she was delirious. That might actually work in his favor.

He rounded the final book shelf and stopped dead in his tracks, barely believing his own eyes.

Pinned to the book shelf, her eyes shut tight was Belle French. Her skirt was pushed up around her hips and her bare legs were wrapped around none other than Mr. Gold as he thrust against her.

He shook his head, trying to clear his mind of what was clearly a delusion when Belle gasped out loudly.

"Fuck, yes, Aiden!"

So that was Gold’s first name, Keith thought idly. When he opened his eyes, the hallucination had not cleared. Belle was still wrapped around the scrawny pawnbroker who had his hands braced against the bookshelves for balance as he rutted against the perfect Miss French. His head was buried against her neck as he let out a long low groan that almost sounded like a growl. It was obscene! And as if it couldn’t be more so, Gold’s open trousers chose that moment to slip down his hips, exposing the older man’s backside to Keith’s view.

He’d had enough. He could stand there all day and watch Belle moan and writhe, but the man between her thighs killed his ardor before it could start. How the hell did she get off with a man like that?

As if in answer to his question Belle let out a high pitched scream followed by a litany of curses as she clutched at her boyfriend’s shoulders.

He couldn’t believe Belle had such a vocabulary. He couldn’t believe Belle was getting fucked in the middle of her precious library. He thought he might be sick.

Keith turned on his heel and left the library as quickly and quietly as possible, not wanting to be caught and be on the receiving end of Gold’s cane again. 

Belle Fucking French. Not so frigid after all, and maybe hot enough to melt Gold.

I liked the extra touch of Gold’s trouser’s sliding down off his butt. :)

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